BORING YET IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: I am NOT encouraging you to steal other people's content. Infact, it's the other way round. I am insulting artists who steal, cause no matter how successful and famous they are, they have no right to steal someone else's hardwork. So pardon me if your sentiments got hurt. Super common introduction: Welcome to Kalement's serious section. This section was created when the owner of this page was going through an existential crisis ( period cramps to be precise) and was done with  this shitty world and wanted to make a change. More serious stuff: The deadliest disease on earth Wanna be famous? Be the worst. Plagiarism,a serious topic.  The famous artists you adore, the famous writers who you love for their creativity, are they really that creative? Ever thought that the baller song you' re listening to might be stolen? Me neither.  So now it's time to thing about that. So what the hell is plagiarism? Plagi...

A viral plague is taking over world, killing millions on its way. A deadly disease which makes your brain rot , slowly eating away your cells. It is worse than cancer , ebola and AIDS combined. It gets transmitted from one person to another in a split second without any pain or discomfort. The most grave patients have parasites breeding in their brain. This could the cause of a deadly apocalypse. It is so dangerous that no one can survive it, neither the cleanest, nor the fittest as it is found all over the world!  Your friend might be suffering from it without you knowing it and at any moment boom! It gets transmitted to you. It is found all over the internet . And that beautiful thing is.... fake information and his sister unnecessary information. They both have unique similarities and preventions which we are gonna discuss so that you stay safe and alive (thank me!) -KALEMENT REPORTERS. Breeding places: Social media, blogs(not mine!), in the brains of intrusi...

1. How to impress your crush? Ans- Get abs and rich. And beautiful. And a caring personality. And a mansion in jupiter. 2. Does he \she like me? Ans- No. Seriously, how do you expect google to know who that he or she is and do they like you or not? 3. Why are guys and girls not the same? Ans- To reproduce. If they were the same,you wouldn't be alive to ask this dumb question. 4. Is feminism cancer? Ans- No, but people with this thinking are. 5. Why do people hate feminism? Ans- Because some dumbshits confuse it with man- hating. 6. Do pokemons exist? Ans- Yes ,in cartoons and your immature mind. 7. Am I dead? Ans-Your brain is ,but somehow you are alive. Congrats! You have successfully graduated from the zombie institute for idiots. 8. How to get rich quick? Ans- Rob a bank ,and if you ain't behind the bars ,you are rich! But if you are too lazy and scared, Click here. 9. Why does math suck? Ans-Because we apes are too dumb to understand it....

This post is dedicated to my true love. There is some mysterious, alluring force which attracts me towards you, I don't know what it is, and I guess I won't ever know. I don't know what is so charismatic about you, Neither do I know why every moment spent with you is so pleasurable. Whenever I am with you, I forget all my worries. With you, I can be myself. You are my shoulder to cry on, And someone I can lie on. Someone I can laugh with, Someone I will never fight with. Someone with hypnotising beauty, Someone with a golden heart. It's painful to leave you and go to work, Every moment without you sucks. Your soft and supple skin is extremely pleasing, Every moment without is  profoundly depressing. I miss you at work. I miss you at school. I can't wait to see your beautiful face, Every second without you, feels like a million days. Dearie, I can't wait to go back home. My eyes are tired, craving to see you, My body is fatigued, cr...

Disclaimer : The stunts in this post are performed by professionals, please for humanity's sake ,don't try to imitate them. What if I tell you hard work is NOT the key to success? Nor is discipline. Nor is perseverance. Nor is talent. Nor is productivity. You do not need any of these qualities. What if I tell you there is a way you can get easy success? It's easy and also fun. Isn't that great? Once you have this asset, fame is gonna fall into your lap. And that beautiful thing is.... CRINGE. What makes cringe so good? Cringe, unlike the other keys to success is really easy to possess, requiring little or no effort, is fun to make( not for the one who is shooting it) and gives you success really fast. If you make good content,you will get success after 5 years of hard work. But if you make cringy content, you are gonna get the same success in around 10 days! Why do I say it's easy? Because it really is. You just have to be the worst...

Henry,my brother. These are some of the problems faced by me and many dog owners. If you are a dog owner, be ready to relate.  If you are thinking to own a dog, BEWARE! And if you love dogs, Welcome to Kalement. We have a lot of dog stuff here which you will love. And also,we can be friends,as I love dogs too and I love the people who share the same interest. Think dog owners have the best lives? Think again. This is what I thought before owning a dog when I was a dogless dog lover. I had never been more wrong. DOGGY ISSUES. Your hygiene would be effed. Dogs show their affection by licking us. Your Pooch will also lick your face to show you their love....after licking their bumhole. Sweet? I think not. Just letting you know they don't use toilet papers after defecating. They would pick up random shits from the street, sniff potties and drains, lick their genitals and then lick you. Just letting you know that they don't brush their teeth too( ...

I have a stalker, He follows me wherever I go, And stares at me whenever I am happy and low. He keeps a check on what I eat, Is it eyeballs or hippos' teeth. He is downright possessive, Me being with others makes him aggressive. He likes the stench of my dresses, With my friends, he always messes. I can't  tell the cops 'bout him, For he hasn't harmed me still, And I am sure he never will, Because he is my lovely dog, Bill. Note: This poem is dedicated to my annoying dachshund, Henry.

THE DIARY SERIES. The diary of a  femme fatale. Lovely Diary, Being exquisite is downright appeasing and by exquisite I mean drop dead gorgeous. So alluring that no man can resist you, every girl envies you even strangers can't help but stare at you. You are popular.  Everybody wants to be your friend, everybody wants to hang out with you. They can't help but compliment you. That is how stunning I am. I am not being arrogant or vain. I am simply saying the truth. After all, I had to work really hard to achieve that look. Nothing comes easy. But still, after doing so much, some people dislike me. They call me witch. After all, you can't please everyone untill and unless you sell ice cream for free. ........ I'll be back in a minute diary, someone is at the door. Sir we have all the evidence. We should take action ASAP. She is perilous. So what are you waiting for? Put her behind the bars!! Calvin(the jailor): Yes sir! Yeah, tell me doctor. ...

                      THE DIARY SERIES. Dear diary, I see these tasty humans writing in a book they call a diary, so I thought to give it a try because I found it realllyyy fascinating. I cannot wait for the night to arrive.  I am famished. In the forest I don't see people passing by because of all the crappy stories they have heard about ghosts wandering in the forest,killing people amd eating their eyeballs and toenails. Jeez!! When will these dummies realize that there are no such things as 'ghosts'! Yeah, vampires do exist. We vampires are the coolest ghouls in my opinion. They have stunning red eyes, effortless flight like bats, hiding skills like a chameleon, and fangs like lions. They arrive after dusk to suck human's blood. They will sneakily drink your blood while you are sleeping peacefully at night, pierce their fangs within your skin and suck the sweet crimson , don't worry you won't feel it, it...

            THE SITUATION SERIES Read the part one! And two! #3-When your boss forces you to work on weekends. Your Reactions: The sincere: My mom is one of them. You obey  your boss wholeheartedly and work hard to impress them to get that promotion( who I'm sure donot give a damn, they are just exploiting you). You are basically a lion eating grass. The greedy:  You are greedy and smart. You will only work for extra hours if you are getting paid for it cause no one works for free. You boldly ask your boss to grant your needs(which will never be granted so stop being stupid, it will only get you fired.) The smart: 90% of employees are like this. You agree to work, but don't work at all. After all , why should you work for your nasty boss if they are not paying you extra to do so? You just sit their doing nothing (pretending to work if the satan is around), planning to crucify them and take their position(which again i...

This story was written in intentions to make it scary, but it ended up being stupid. This might suck, but it's worth a read. THE NIGHTMARE IN THE CRANIUM Explain it from the start. What happened? Well.  I was giving my biology exam and I aced it. I thanked my wonderful brain for it and by brain I mean my cerebrum. To reward me , my parents took me to a beach. Everthing was going great,but then... I made a dreadful mistake. I made a comment which costed me my life. I regret doing so. If I hadn't made this remark, I wouldn't be here. What did you do? I said that the cerebrum is the only important part of the brain and others (celebellum, medulla oblongata)are useless. This offended them. To teach me a lesson and to show me their importance, they stopped working. I lost my balance and fell in the sea. (Kids, the celebellum helps balance the body) My breathing and heart stopped and I died. (Kids, the involuntary a...

Welcome to KALEMENT'S NERD SECTION. This section teaches you things which your teachers are too dumb to teach. Let thine inner nerd be unleashed! All kinds of matter at a certain temperature freeze, melt and evaporate. All matter can change its state. Even humans are made up of matter, so it is possible for us to melt and evaporate, right? Yes.  Theoritically, we can. But practically, no one has evaporated till now, and even if they have, they cannot share it with us, as we are breathing them. So theoritically, after reaching a certain temperature,WE CAN MELT AND EVAPORATE but as no one has performed this experiment, we donot know the exact temperature. Even if somebody has, they might be behind the bars now. The chemicals that constitute our body can melt. So why don't we see cases of people melting? Because a lot of them die and burn before reaching the melting point. The enzymes in a human start getting denatured as the temperature of the body re...

A dog lover? Then you will love this. Feeling blue? No worries, cause what you are about to see now will make you feel RED!! No seriously, they are lit!! 1. Foodies will understand.  2. Life's daily annoyances. 3.  When you  are tired of life... Or just hungry. 4. What's next? Sorry for engulfing your intestines?  5. Anyways, no matter how much you trouble me, bite me , scratch me, break my things, chew off my shoes, eat my food , I WILL ALWAYS ,ALWAYS LOVE YOU. Note: The sexy model in all those pictures is my precious dachshund, Henry and adorable Max. Still not satisfied? Wanna read some more dog related content? So here are more. A diamond found, a life lost. Doggy issues.