So what is it? It's not what you think. Keep guessing. I 'll  give you clues. No cheating. Let the suspense build. A survey conducted by me ( yes I am a scientist) showed that this epidemic is one of the worst dangers to humanity. This can be the cause of the death of our species. This disease is known to cause cancers, AIDS, and a variety of amoeboid diseases. Cause of noise pollution. Known to cause severe migraines and piles. This disease is one the worst threats to humanity yet nobody is talking about it. Guess they are too scared. Teens are more prone to this disease because of their homornal imbalances. The worst thing is it's very common. Your friend or your child who is in their teens might be suffering from it WITHOUT YOU KNOWING IT. It's like AIDS ,you won't know you are suffering from it untill it's too late. And the now comes the worst part. IT IS CONTAGIOUS. Have you guessed it? This disease is named ' ARCTIC SYNDROME...

Henry,my brother. These are some of the problems faced by me and many dog owners. If you are a dog owner, be ready to relate.  If you are thinking to own a dog, BEWARE! And if you love dogs, Welcome to Kalement. We have a lot of dog stuff here which you will love. And also,we can be friends,as I love dogs too and I love the people who share the same interest. Think dog owners have the best lives? Think again. This is what I thought before owning a dog when I was a dogless dog lover. I had never been more wrong. DOGGY ISSUES. Your hygiene would be effed. Dogs show their affection by licking us. Your Pooch will also lick your face to show you their love....after licking their bumhole. Sweet? I think not. Just letting you know they don't use toilet papers after defecating. They would pick up random shits from the street, sniff potties and drains, lick their genitals and then lick you. Just letting you know that they don't brush their teeth too( ...

I have a stalker, He follows me wherever I go, And stares at me whenever I am happy and low. He keeps a check on what I eat, Is it eyeballs or hippos' teeth. He is downright possessive, Me being with others makes him aggressive. He likes the stench of my dresses, With my friends, he always messes. I can't  tell the cops 'bout him, For he hasn't harmed me still, And I am sure he never will, Because he is my lovely dog, Bill. Note: This poem is dedicated to my annoying dachshund, Henry.

THE DIARY SERIES. The diary of a  femme fatale. Lovely Diary, Being exquisite is downright appeasing and by exquisite I mean drop dead gorgeous. So alluring that no man can resist you, every girl envies you even strangers can't help but stare at you. You are popular.  Everybody wants to be your friend, everybody wants to hang out with you. They can't help but compliment you. That is how stunning I am. I am not being arrogant or vain. I am simply saying the truth. After all, I had to work really hard to achieve that look. Nothing comes easy. But still, after doing so much, some people dislike me. They call me witch. After all, you can't please everyone untill and unless you sell ice cream for free. ........ I'll be back in a minute diary, someone is at the door. Sir we have all the evidence. We should take action ASAP. She is perilous. So what are you waiting for? Put her behind the bars!! Calvin(the jailor): Yes sir! Yeah, tell me doctor. ...

                      THE DIARY SERIES. Dear diary, I see these tasty humans writing in a book they call a diary, so I thought to give it a try because I found it realllyyy fascinating. I cannot wait for the night to arrive.  I am famished. In the forest I don't see people passing by because of all the crappy stories they have heard about ghosts wandering in the forest,killing people amd eating their eyeballs and toenails. Jeez!! When will these dummies realize that there are no such things as 'ghosts'! Yeah, vampires do exist. We vampires are the coolest ghouls in my opinion. They have stunning red eyes, effortless flight like bats, hiding skills like a chameleon, and fangs like lions. They arrive after dusk to suck human's blood. They will sneakily drink your blood while you are sleeping peacefully at night, pierce their fangs within your skin and suck the sweet crimson , don't worry you won't feel it, it...

            THE SITUATION SERIES Read the part one! And two! #3-When your boss forces you to work on weekends. Your Reactions: The sincere: My mom is one of them. You obey  your boss wholeheartedly and work hard to impress them to get that promotion( who I'm sure donot give a damn, they are just exploiting you). You are basically a lion eating grass. The greedy:  You are greedy and smart. You will only work for extra hours if you are getting paid for it cause no one works for free. You boldly ask your boss to grant your needs(which will never be granted so stop being stupid, it will only get you fired.) The smart: 90% of employees are like this. You agree to work, but don't work at all. After all , why should you work for your nasty boss if they are not paying you extra to do so? You just sit their doing nothing (pretending to work if the satan is around), planning to crucify them and take their position(which again i...

This story was written in intentions to make it scary, but it ended up being stupid. This might suck, but it's worth a read. THE NIGHTMARE IN THE CRANIUM Explain it from the start. What happened? Well.  I was giving my biology exam and I aced it. I thanked my wonderful brain for it and by brain I mean my cerebrum. To reward me , my parents took me to a beach. Everthing was going great,but then... I made a dreadful mistake. I made a comment which costed me my life. I regret doing so. If I hadn't made this remark, I wouldn't be here. What did you do? I said that the cerebrum is the only important part of the brain and others (celebellum, medulla oblongata)are useless. This offended them. To teach me a lesson and to show me their importance, they stopped working. I lost my balance and fell in the sea. (Kids, the celebellum helps balance the body) My breathing and heart stopped and I died. (Kids, the involuntary a...

Welcome to KALEMENT'S NERD SECTION. This section teaches you things which your teachers are too dumb to teach. Let thine inner nerd be unleashed! All kinds of matter at a certain temperature freeze, melt and evaporate. All matter can change its state. Even humans are made up of matter, so it is possible for us to melt and evaporate, right? Yes.  Theoritically, we can. But practically, no one has evaporated till now, and even if they have, they cannot share it with us, as we are breathing them. So theoritically, after reaching a certain temperature,WE CAN MELT AND EVAPORATE but as no one has performed this experiment, we donot know the exact temperature. Even if somebody has, they might be behind the bars now. The chemicals that constitute our body can melt. So why don't we see cases of people melting? Because a lot of them die and burn before reaching the melting point. The enzymes in a human start getting denatured as the temperature of the body re...